Before we ever knew it was a hotly debated issue in the church, my husband and I decided to keep our children in the church service with us. We started attending a little country church with our 8 and 10 year old. They stayed right beside us, worshiping and listening to the sermon.
By the time our older kids were young teens, we had a baby boy (and another on the way). I sat in the service of our large local church with my kids and let my baby play in the pew with quiet toys. By the time our younger boys were about 15 months, we had them in the nursery. I went with them much of the time. But from the ages of three and four on, the boys sat with us through a weekly church service and then spent another service with me in the children’s Sundays School.
Children in Church
It was easy for me to assume my kids weren’t really learning a lot in church. I’m certain much of it was over their heads. But I’ll never forget overhearing my six- and seven-year-old boys arguing in the bathroom one night when they were supposed to be brushing their teeth. Their little voices got louder and more urgent until they burst from the bathroom, looking to have their disagreement settled.
“Mom!” said the six-year-old. “What is the difference between a Christophany and a theophany? Please give specific examples.”
That’s when I knew that all those hours spent fretting over the fact that my toddlers had attended church while lying under the pew, or worse–sitting upside down with their feet in the air and their heads dangling toward the floor, had been in vain. My kids not only learned to worship in church, keeping my children in the church service with us had affected them. They’d learned from the preaching. Not only that, they’d absorbed a concept that some adult Christians don’t have a handle on.
Teach Kids to Worship
My husband and I have allowed our kids to attend Sunday School. In fact, I taught Sunday School for years. We’ve also allowed them to attend youth group. However, our kids have attended a church service with us once a week. As they aged into the upper elementary grades, they found Sunday School for kids uninteresting and chose instead to attend Sunday School with us during our second service.
I’m an advocate of teaching kids to worship. You can do this at home with Bible Road Trip™ and with a family worship time. However, I’m also an advocate for teaching kids to worship by keeping children in the worship service with their parents. Children in church learn to sing to the Lord, to share compassion and concern for others, and to pray corporately. Believe it or not, children in the church service also learn from the preaching. The reason I advocate for children in the church service, though, is because I see it modeled in Scripture.
I want to thank Christian Focus Publications for providing a copy of Let the Children Worship in return for my honest opinion.
Or purchase at ChristianBook.com.
Does keeping your children in church with you seem daunting? Are you unsure if corporate worship for little people actually has a Scriptural basis? I’m excited to recommend a new resource by Pastor Jason Helopoulos, Let the Children Worship (Christian Focus Publications, 2016).
Let the Children Worship by Jason Helopoulos
Let the Children Worship is an excellent, respectful treatise on worship: why and how we worship. Jason Helopoulos then talks about the biblical example of children in the worship service, and why teaching kids to worship by keeping them in church has many benefits. He finishes by discussing some tips and potential pitfalls for parents and church leaders.
I really appreciated this short 94-page book. Rather than being heavy-handed or approaching kids in church as an issue that can only be seen from one perspective, Jason Helopoulos gives grace in his discussion of children in the worship service. He acknowledges the frustrations and challenges inherent with keeping children in church, and talks about why the benefits outweigh the obstacles. Additionally, Pastor Helopoulos doesn’t do away with children’s Sunday School or youth group. Rather, he advocates for those (if they exist) as an addition to the corporate worship service.
I found Let the Children Worship to be thought-provoking and encouraging. This is a book worth reading for all parents and church leaders.
Chapters in Let the Children Worship
- Why Does the Church Worship?
- What Should Church Worship Look Like?
- Let the Children Worship
- Blessings and Benefits
- Wisdom for Parents
- Wisdom for Church Leaders
- Not So Helpful Replacements and Objections
Resources You and Your Kids Will Love
Bible Road Trip: A 3-Year Bible Curriculum for Preschool through High SchoolMy Sermon NotebookCrayola Fun Effects Mini Twistables Crayons, 24-Count, 1 pack
Crayola Different Colored Pencils, 100 Count, Adult ColoringWonderfully Made: God’s Story of Life from Conception to BirthLet the Children WorshipA Neglected Grace: Family Worship in the Christian HomeParenting in the Pew: Guiding Your Children into the Joy of WorshipThe Beginner’s Bible My First Church Bag, Noah’s Ark, Medium, CanvasMy First Church Bag Flowers Medium
Bible Resources for Your Kids
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Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible
You want your kids to learn and love the Bible.
You want to teach the Bible…
As parents, we deeply desire the best for our kids. We look for the right schools, we make them eat right and exercise, and we get them involved in extracurricular activities. We take our job as parents seriously.
But are we also putting our time and energy into
teaching them the Bible? Giving them the life-changing, soul-nourishing words of Scripture is not only doable, it’s an essential part of parenting kids for Jesus. And the good news is, studying God’s Word as a family doesn’t have to be difficult!
2 Timothy 2:15, ESV, says:
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved,
a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.
Our job, as parents who love Jesus, is to help our kids become approved workers, unashamed and rightly handling the word of truth.
The good news? Teaching the Bible isn’t hard. Your family can learn the Bible together.
…and you can!
A Crash Course in Teaching the Bible to Your Kids
Danika Cooley’s book, Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible, will give you the tools and confidence to study the Bible as a family. It will help you identify and overcome your objections and fears, give you a crash course in what the Bible is all about and how to teach it, and provide the guidance you need to set up a family Bible study habit.
You will finish this book feeling encouraged and empowered to initiate and strengthen your child’s relationship with the Lord through His Word.
Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible will equip you with everything you need to know to teach the Bible to your kids!
Grab the autographed Reformation Family Bundle!
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Thank you for sharing this giveaway. Teaching our children about corporate worship is so very important!
This is such an interesting topic to me. I see both sides of the issue.
Great post! We attend a small country church and my kids are the only kids who attend there. They stay with me in the pews while my husband preaches. We’ve had similar experiences to yours from time to time where our children repeat something that their father preached from the pulpit. It’s so encouraging to hear.
I am excited about Let the Children Worship because I am always looking at new perspectives on different things for my children.
As a couple, we have discussed this issue often, and our kids have done both as well. I’d love to hear another perspective on the issue!
My children went to Children’s Church during the regular “adult” sermon, but my youngest chose to attend regular service about halfway through 3rd grade. This article makes you think about both sides, I know a lot of families that choose to have their children with them in the service and never attend Children’s Church. It can be annoying when kids act up, but they do need to learn. We used to practice sitting still & quiet at home for different lengths of time to help them in church.
These look like some great resources
I am in charge of our preschool area at church and our church has a no children under 5 policy in the sanctuary. We on purpose cause the children areas to be places where the children will learn concepts at their level and get loved by the volunteers. I have had this issue on my heart a lot but the Lord reminds me that we do the best with where the people are and we take care of the lost, the broken, the hurting and sick so sometimes you don’t get the garden of eden but you thank God for his presence and leading as he is healing them.
This is something that I struggle with… I think it’d be great to keep my son with us instead of going to Children’s Church. He loves Children’s Church and really does learn a great deal there. They have a curriculum and he always comes back knowing new things and remembers them when we are doing our own devotions.
I feel it’s so valuable to have children in church with us. Our kids are small – 1, 3 & 4, so there are moments when I, too, wonder if they are getting anything from it! But we want them to learn from a young age that they are part of a larger body, composed of all ages, and that they can worship with us. I’m grateful for our church community that graciously overlooks their “infractions” as they’re learning to participate in corporate worship!
Yes, children do belong in worship, but this also depends on the child’s development and also the parent having taught their child how to behave properly. My child has autism and there are just some days that sitting or standing in for worship just isn’t working for anybody! A parent knows their kiddo better and should act with what is best for the child.
At our church, kids stay in the worship service once they are out of the nursery and preschool departments. I believe it’s important for children to learn with their parents. Also, if we “entertain” them as young children, they have a harder time adjusting to a complete worship service when they get older.
I’m excited because teaching them to worship and be a mindset of worship can truly open the heavens. Thank you for this giveaway
Thanks for this great article!!
I have heard you speak about this multiple times, and I would love to walk through someone else’s encouragement for the same issue. Thank you for letting us know of this resource.
I concur. 😉
I often struggle with this issue because we have a somewhat disruptive SN boy. Well, it seems disruptive to me! But I would like the punks to be with us.
We have 3-4 services a week, and only Sunday School on Sunday morning, so the girls have ample opportunities to hear the services. I’ve allowed things I regret, we can be at church 3-4 hours, so I’ve let them color and read, so I appreciate all the direction and prayer I can get!.
This is something that I am currently torn about. My son is 2.
I think that worship can take place in the adult sanctuary as well as in a separate children’s area. Just because it’s not held in the “big church” doesn’t mean worship doesn’t take place. Our children’s church provides opportunities for children to worship and learn in developmentally appropriate ways. It’s not just fun and games, but we do take into account how children learn best.
It is up to the parents and caregivers to decide what is best for their child; however, please do not think that the only place children can learn to worship is sitting in a pew in the sanctuary.
I’m excited about more ideas on keeping kids with us. Mine currently leave during the sermon, but we have kept them with us in the past. Excited to get more ideas and thoughts on the whole topic.
Our children, now grown always went to church with us, and learned at a very young age that disruptive behavior would not be accepted. I am now raising grandchildren, who also sit with me every week during church. We also sit heard the front of the church – fewer distractions for the children, and they can listen better.
Years ago we attended a very large church that had formal Sunday School for all ages including infants. In the two rooms for the youngest ones (under age 1), four basic lessons were repeated in rotation. Pictures to reinforce the week’s lesson were laminated and hung where even tiny ones in drive would see them. Before bottle or snack, refurbished assisted gently to fold their hands and grace was said. Children “graduated” from these rooms when they could walk independently.
It was always do special to see these young children in the toddler rooms. By the time they could speak, they already knew what to do during a prayer, could sit quietly during a prayer as well as knowing very basic Christian is such as Jesus loves them, God created everything and everyone etc. At age three, children were encouraged to attend church service with their parents. Very rarely would the children that had been regularly in the infant and toddler rooms become disruptive in church services.
Our children and now my grandchildren are expected to sit quietly in church at any age. They each have their own Bibles. By the time they finish first grade, they are expected to take basic sermon notes. As they develop reading skills, they look up the scripture verses, and the younger ones copy the main verse into their notes.
Children especially at young ages, are like sponges. They take on and absorb much more then most people realize. It is our responsibility to make sure they are absorbing the word of God, seeing their parents worship and being allowed to worship along side of them.
While I personally believe children should be in church with their families
This is something that we have been doing with our son. We get opposition but have stayed with it. Nice to have a resource to support us.
I’ve been an advocate for children in the worship services at our church for many years. This book sounds like a great resource!!!o
We have always had our children with us in the church service. It can be difficult when there are so many differing opinions on how children should behave and what is acceptable. Also, since my children are each four years apart I feel like I haven’t really attended a full worship service in about 16 years. That being said, I have watched as their desire to be in worship has grown. I have heard them comment on how the sermon topic related to our school topics that week or our memory work. It’s more than that though, it is how you get to know God’s family in your particular community. The children need that sense of unity and oneness in the body of Christ.
We have always kept our children with us in the worship assembly as well. I will admit though, it is very tough! I want to be able to sit and listen, but now that we have eight children, I have to be up and down dealing with misbehavior and bathroom requests. I am often fighting grumpiness and even tears by the end.
I think it is right to keep them with us, but it does take diligence!
While growing up, children’s classes weren’t an option for my parents, so my brothers and I were always in the adult church services. My husband and I encountered similar circumstances when our children were born, and I was very comfortable continuing my family pattern. Only after moving and changing churches did we encounter another perspective.
When there weren’t any other options, my children had no issues being in the service. What I find hard now is not the opinion of others but the influence of other children. My kids have been great about it, and it’s good for them to work through being different; but I do miss the simplicity of it just being an assumed reality for our family.
I am interested in this topic!
I have my children in the services with me as I feel they need to learn appropriate behaviour as young as possible and learn to listen to the pastor. They mature in Christ and ask more questions when in this situation rather than sent off to be baby sat while the adults hear the preaching.
So excited about your post! My husband and I just started looking into family worship yesterday after we watched a video called “Divided”. Thank-you for the encouragement with how it looks for your family!
Because I love getting resources like this.
I’d love to win! I lean toward one view and my husband another, so I’d love a resource like this to talk though.
To keep my children engaged and learning.
I believe it’s so important to teach children to be respectful in church and how to learn as much as they can while they are there
Really love your thoughts on this! It is hard to keep children in a service especially when others dont understand why you do it but also important. It is so helpful when the church as a whole sees the value of children worshipping in the corporate gathering.
I love this! When I was a kid, there were six of us – all born within the span of 11 years. My parents marched us up to the first and second rows every service – Wed night and twice on Sun. We did have Sunday School, but an additional 3-5 hours a week of corporate worship/preaching.
Even though we had a hard time sitting still, would sit underneath the bench and play, we were listening. There were some embarrassing moments for my parents – I’ve got a loud mouth – but we got through them all and the disruption to the service was minimal and it didn’t hurt anyone. If you look back to the New Testament, Christians gathered in houses and had rambunctious worship to Jesus with the entire neighborhood around.
I know things about the Bible that I don’t know how I know. I can reference scriptures that are stuck deep into my understanding and it’s always been this way. And, even when I am struggling with finding corporate worship for my family, God’s word is deep inside of me.
One more thing. My son has been watching Buck Denver and started asking questions and having deep theological discussions with me about Heaven, the Pentateuch, Sin, Righteousness, the Prophets and more. These are topics I didn’t broach with him because I thought he was too small to understand and didn’t want him to be scared at some of the themes. He told me the other day, “Mom, we all deserve to die, but God had a rescue plan.” He can tell you all about that rescue plan and I love that it is deep in his 5 year old little heart already.
I’m interested in finding out how I can encourage my children to participate when they join me in church.
I completely agree! I haven taken my children out on some occasions, but we always come back as soon as possible. My ADHD 5 year old picks up a lot!
Hello! I cannot believe this. I logged into Pinterest for the first time in at least a week and it was like they read my mind. (Just kidding, it’s all a GOD thing!!!!) We are in the middle of transitioning pastors and our church is also changing our mission statement. As a result a few of us are meeting to discuss children’s “programming” at our church. We are currently at a crossroads in whether we need more or less programming and some of us believe in keeping kids in service while others want more programs for kids during service. This book would be amazing to have as our church tries to navigate this issue with the first of many meetings happening in late July. Thank you for posting this and allowing someone to win a copy! I only wish I’d stumbled upon this earlier!!
We recently started going to a church where they have all the kids in the service once a month, and we used to keep one of our kids with us every couple of weeks.